The Power of the God Who Can’t

by Russ Dean

Finding a New Way Home

by Russ Dean

This book is a memoir of my journey in faith. That journey began in the home of my childhood, but the chapters cover experiences extending from some of my earliest memories until just a few years ago. I had already begun reflecting on these experiences, theologically, as the later ones were occurring, but it was not until a friend invited me to speak to his congregation that I connected them. "You're not what most of our people think of when they hear the word Baptist," the priest of a local Episcopal church said. "Come talk to us about how you got where you are from where you started."

It was a fascinating challenge. As I sat down to prepare a one-hour Sunday school lesson for Episcopalian adults, I realized I had a story to tell. My suspicion is that this story, regardless of how eloquently I have or have not told it, will resonate with many people. Too frequently I hear people speak of their "bad experiences" with the church, experiences often occurring in the formative years of childhood or adolescence. Sadly, too many of these folks leave organized religion, if not turn their backs altogether on a God they suspect has turned a blind eye or a judgmental whim against them.

I have managed to stay within the realm of organized religion. In fact, it is my life. I have not felt the need to abandon or reject God. In fact, God has become more important, more real, more central to my story. I understand those who leave, but because I believe so strongly in the church and the value of faith in one's life, I hope my experience might be an encouragement. One can question, doubt, reject much of what we learned in our childhood, and still remain faithful.

There is a "new way home." Maybe my experiences will help some of you find it.

Russ Dean
Park Road Baptist Church 2020

Finding a New Way Home
Chapter Summaries and POdcasts

A brief summary of each chapter and a link to a podcast discussion of each chapter of the book.

Introduction: Into My Heart

About fifteen years ago the priest at the Episcopal Church down the street said to me, “Russ, you are not what most of our folks think of when they hear the word ‘Baptist.’ Come talk to us about how you got where you are from where you started.'' Preparing that one-hour presentation for a group of Episcopalians proved rewarding. I sat down at my computer and almost instantly nine experiences materialized on the screen. Though my faith began in my childhood home, the son of a Southern Baptist minister and a mother who also had seminary training, the real journey began after I enrolled as a freshman at Furman University. Nine “markers” along the way span about two decades of challenge, even crisis, and growth. Rather than driving me away from faith, however, these experiences served to ground me more deeply. At the end of the book, I say that I now believe nearly everything my parents taught me as a child – just differently! It’s a journey worth taking. Why don’t you join me?

Chapter One: Once You Get Educated Nothing is Ever Easy Again

My mother says I asked a zillion questions as a child. She could not answer most of them, but the answer to every question about religion began, “Well, the Bible says... " And, Remarkably, that was enough. I never had a single question about faith that troubled me until a friend persuaded me to take Intro to Philosophy the spring term of my freshman year at Furman. By the end of the semester, I was troubled and angry. In short order, one professor, who always perched himself precariously on the edge of his desk and leaned in to ask uncomfortable questions, had open a Pandora's Box for me. So quickly, everything I once thought was True was up for grabs. At the end of that semester an old Tennessee farmer, who was a social activist and Prophet, spoke in our required, weekly chapel services. Will Campbell was speaking directly to me when he said, “Once you get educated nothing is ever easy again.” It has not been. I now know that is as it should be.  

Chapter Two: You Have to Look for the Spirit of the Message

I was raised on the Bible, and the answers it provided had always satisfied my inquisitive mind. Then I heard “…and God hardened the pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let him go… “ and suddenly that made no sense at all. Why would God do that? Think of all the pain and suffering. Why would God do that? After class that day, a kind and careful professor quietly opened the door to a new way of reading the Bible: “Sometimes, Russ, you have to listen for the spirit of the message and not just the literal words.” I don't know any lesson that could change our world more significantly. I am so glad I learned early in this journey.

Questions or comments? Connect with Russ here.