About a year ago, I changed one word in my vocabulary. I have tried to stop using the connector word “but” and replaced it with “and.” It has made all the difference. Try it. You will see. This one simple three letter change has impacted my thinking. Oh, sometimes I revert to “but,” but then I catch myself. I mean “and” I catch myself!
When one begins a sentence stating some truth or opinion or experience and moves along in the sentence with that conjunction “but,” whatever comes next has a way of negating the original thought. It’s subtle so you have to really pay attention. For example, “I agree with what you said, but I think x,y,z.” Or, “This weather is beautiful, but we sure need the rain.” With a simple change of one tiny word, the concept is transformed. Try it. You will see. “I agree with what you said, AND I think x,y,z.” “This weather is beautiful, AND we sure need the rain.”
“And” helps me remember that two things can be true at the same time. “And” helps me remember that I can even have two juxtaposed thoughts at the very same time. “And” helps me remember to listen to all sides and try to find the value in all opinions. “And” helps me to claim the goodness that can be found in all things if I look hard enough. Try it. You will see.
Here’s another example: “I want to follow the guidelines of our health experts and government officials, but I’m ready to be back together to worship in person.” How about a simple change: “I’m ready to be back together to worship in person, AND I want to follow the guidelines of our health experts and government officials.”
I am capable of following guidelines while desiring something else. One does not preclude the other, and the “and” helps me to acknowledge that fact. Our emotions are complex. Have you ever laughed until you cried? Or, have you ever had a moment of emotional distress turn into a fit of laughter?
During this global pandemic, I have been trying to remember “and” a lot. I am so ready for normal, AND I want to honor the health, safety, and well-being of all of God’s children – especially the most vulnerable. If the Way of Jesus teaches us anything, it is the call to take care of the most vulnerable - the homeless and the hungry, those in ICU and the imprisoned, the seniors and the sick, the lonely and the least.
Change is difficult, AND how we regather will look and feel different at least for the short term. The unknown is difficult, AND we can do hard things. Being apart is difficult, AND finding new and creative ways to connect is life-giving. And, and, and – it’s the word that will help us survive this trying time in our collective lives.
I talked to a father of two teens last week. He thanked us for keeping our church connected. He affirmed that the spiritual life of his family had been nurtured . . . they gather their immediate family on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings and light a candle and join us on Facebook Live, AND their family’s zoom sessions with extended family members in other states on Sunday evening include conversations about the sermon and the music.
Yes, our congregation is growing through social media. This family, along with many others, is being intentional in this crisis to keep faith and spirituality alive and well with the routine and regularity of worship and study and fellowship. If you have not been intentional about your faith development during this time of disconnect it is NOT too late.
Join us on a regular basis. Set aside time to worship, to pray, to sing, to confess, to keep silent. Interact through the comments. Even if it feels weird and foolish, say the Lord’s Prayer with us, speak out loud the congregation’s reply during the responsive reading, and sing along with the hymn. Invest yourself in our church even while we are not together.
We miss you, AND we feel connected to you. We yearn to come together again, AND we are enjoying some creative ways to be church. We long be together, AND we are still the Church even while we are apart.
We hold you close in our hearts and in our prayers, AND we are thankful that we are in this together.
Grace and Peace,
Amy